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Feb. 6th, 2009

Me and Owen

"I can say that I'm not/lost and at fault..."

We got Lauren. She's safe. So am I.

But the Order has Ananda.

Everything went more or less according to plan, until we made our getaway, in the Subway. Lauren and I made the train, and Ananda didn't.

She said, if anything went bad, to leave her. And I know if I go back, I'll just be walking into a trap.

But I can't leave her, can I? After everything we've gone through together? She's been there with me this entire time. She's not safe there. I don't care if that man is her father. He doesn't care about her.

I hate this.

Lauren and I can't stay here for long. We need to get out of town. Gina, can you help us? Please message me. I hate to ask, but...I don't have anyone else.


Jan. 31st, 2009


"though you can see when you're wrong/you can't always see when you're right..."

I'm...so confused.

I got a comment from someone offering to help us save Lauren. He asked me to meet him, but he won't tell me who he is. I don't even know his name. I have absolutely no idea who this person is, and no reason to trust him.

But. On his journal, he said the Ceremony was yesterday, and he sabotaged it. It's been postponed to Friday. Ananda and I think we know where Lauren's being held, but we don't have anything else to go on. We can use all the help we can get.

I'm going to meet him. Ananda doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to. I would hate for something to happen to her.

But either way, whether we can trust him or not, we'll stop the Ceremony.


Jan. 29th, 2009


"and I know you would've told nobody/if I died, died for you..."

They're prepping Lauren for the Ceremony.

I have to do something.

Taylor- is there any way you can find out where she posted from?
Tags: ,

Jan. 26th, 2009


"we're takin' each step/one day at a time/you can't lose your spirit..."

They found Gina's place. Ananda and I got out of there, and we're on the road now. I'm not sure where we're going, but we can't go back there.

I'm so tired of running. Not just of being scared, but of actually having to keep moving. I miss being in one place for more than a couple of days. Having a little space to call my own that I can become familiar with. Even back when Daniel and I were living in a motel, the room became familiar. It was our place, you know?

I don't know if I'm making any sense. I'm tired. In more ways then one.

I haven't heard from Gina and Taylor. I'm sure they're fine, but I wish I knew how to contact them.

I called Daniel's parents. They haven't heard from him. I'm not surprised. He's probably in hiding, like us.

I have to go. I'll check in when I can.


Jan. 18th, 2009


"a pebble in the water makes a ripple effect..."

So Gina and Taylor are safe, for now anyway. I was so worried when Gina didn't come home. I wasn't sure what to think. I mean, I knew what to think, but I didn't really want to believe it. So I ended up just...waiting.

I don't know what to do now. I'm not sure if Ananda and I are safe here anymore, but I don't have any reason to believe that the Order knows where we are. If we leave, we might just be putting ourselves in more danger.

Plus, I keep checking Jonas's journal. I just want to make sure he's safe, but he hasn't posted in a couple of weeks. Even Emma hasn't heard from him. That really worries me.

*sigh* I don't know what to do.


Jan. 11th, 2009


"I think you're the same as me; we'll see things they'll never see..."

Ananda's doing much better. She believes me now, and I think she trusts me. More than she did, anyway.

I'm worried about her memory problems, though. There's a lot of stuff she can't remember. She didn't remember making those videos, or even that her father left. I wonder if there's something we can do to help her. I know there's ways to get memories back, but obviously, I shouldn't try it myself.

And then there's Jonas. No one seems to know where he is. I mean, I made a decision not to contact him, because I know he's trying to get away from all the Order stuff, and being in contact with me would just be more dangerous. But I'm worried. I just want to know that he's okay.

So, Jonas. If you see this, let us know you're okay. Okay?


Jan. 5th, 2009


"got bruises on my heart/and sometimes I get dark..."

Okay, I'll admit it: I need help. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Ananda's just been sitting there for two days. I think she's in shock. I was showing her our old videos, and we found this video she made a long time, and she was talking about her father, and then she started crying and just...stopped doing anything.

This is my fault, I know, and I've been doing everything I can think of, but I can't fix it.

I messed up. I'm sorry. Someone please help.

Jan. 3rd, 2009


"where do you go when you're lonely/where do you go when you're blue?"

So...I don't even know where to begin.

I guess we'll start with: I'm alive. And I'm safe. Gina saw my post, and came and saved me. I'm at her place now. She's totally my hero.

But...there's this girl. Her name is Ananda. She met us at the train station. We used to go to camp together. She's a member of the Hymn of One. And currently in a catatonic state under Gina's bed because I tried to help her.

So. I know you're all wondering how I survived.

I did the Ceremony, and I remember lying there, and hearing noises in the hallway, and then everything just faded to black.

And then they brought me back. And I was on life support for awhile, and after a while, I was healthy again, and I thought, for some reason, that they would just let me go. But they didn't. Of course.

They kept me in some...facility, and kept doing all this research, and tests. They want to make more girls like me. You guys know that already, apparently. Gina said they did the same thing to her.

One day, a little while ago, I heard Lucy talk to one of the doctors about prepping me for another Ceremony. And that's when I decided to get out, because there's no way in Hell I was doing that again.

I tried twice before I got away. The first time, one of the guards ended up putting my head through a window. (The doctors were not happy.) The second, I ended up falling down the stairs and hurting my ankle and blacking out.

The third time I made it. I had to climb a barbed wire fence, but I made it. I hitched a ride, and then walked to my house.

And here I am. Alive.

And now...I don't know. I don't know how to contact Daniel, or Jonas. I want to talk to them, but...I don't want to put them in danger again.

I haven't even watched any of the videos you guys posted since I left. I guess I should do that.


Jan. 1st, 2009



I know I have no right to ask this of you, but I need help.

I'm alive, but I'm hurt. I made it to my parents' house, and nobody's here, but I don't know how long I'm safe here. This is Order territory.

Someone please come get me.

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